twentytwenty

they say you learn from your mistakes
well it's no wonder i'm a genius.

so desperately

i'd give my right arm
to pick up all the pieces
i'd give my right hand
to erase all the hurt
i'd give my own soul
to save yours
you know

but i can't hold your heart
with my best of intentions -
and the love flows in sobs
that could rip though my chest -
if i gave you my life
it's not even a good one -



and the weight of your world
crashes down on my shoulders.

the surface project (27)

Do people ever call you by your last name?

ap bio called me emma gay.
sometimes they called other things emma gay, too.
it was an adjective.

sometimes ben calls me emma gay.
it's almost a name - almost a nickname.
except i think he knows the adjective part.

nacho calls me gay and that's all.
it's a name and not the adjective. it's funny.
but it's not my name. it's not me.


emma gay is an identity.
but who am i?





. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . kathryn nutting calls me emma
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .matthew calls me miss emma
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .connor calls me em

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . did you know that i love that?

new heights

"from your lips - a precipice
i hang from every word"